Cut Them Some Slack!

These are intense times, there is no doubt. As humanity moves into higher consciousness, everyone is being challenged to heal as much as possible. We can’t raise into a new level of spiritual evolution while carrying our emotional-mental baggage. Higher consciousness requires us to let go of pain and resistance. So everything that we have shoved under the rug because we didn’t want to deal with it will come up for healing sooner rather than later in these times.

sunflowersUnfortunately, most people do not have good tools to help them heal, so they may fall back into ways of acting that they have used before, which are comfortable but propagate pain rather than heal. Or they will not cope well with changes.

This brings up issues, and sometimes makes people overreact to situations because of their own pain. What helps is to know that no one tries to hurt another unless they are in pain. Period. I firmly believe that humans are naturally good hearted and kind—not, as some say, basically violent.

People all want the same things: love, support, comfort, and to make a positive difference. So why do many act in harmful ways, through their behavior or their words? Because they have pain. Because they have been hurt, emotionally and physically. Because they haven’t healed their past. And ultimately, because they need more love.

If we can remember that no one will hurt us unless they are in pain, it makes it easier to forgive them if they do. In these days of urgent healing, I think we need to cut everyone some slack. If someone hurts you, remind yourself that they are acting out of their own pain and it probably has nothing to do with you. They just need more love. This helps you stay more neutral, so you can refrain from reacting or taking it personally.

This doesn’t mean you let them hurt you again. Of course you protect yourself. But it does mean that you can let go of the small slights.

It takes a big person to look past hurtful words or deeds to recognize that even though someone is attacking, he or she is really only talking about their own hurt. They just don’t know how to express their need for love and understanding without blame and lashing out at another.

Very few people got enough love from their parents as a child. If they carry this into adulthood, it will cause behavior that is not ideal. I see this psychically as actual holes in the heart chakra. The good news is, these holes can be filled in with love in the present. In fact, we all have the ability to love ourselves and give ourselves the love we missed earlier.

So when someone acts harmfully, what they are really saying is they have been hurt and they need love.

We also tend to think others will act like we would in a given situation. Life would certainly be simpler if they did! But everyone has their own experiences, pain, and lessons to learn. Projecting onto others our ideas of the best way to act does not take into account our differences. If we expect people’s behavior to be a certain way, and we get hurt because it isn’t, then it is our own expectations that are hurting us. Expectations, once identified, can be deliberately changed.

Holding onto grudges only holds us back. It takes energy. By cutting people some slack, I literally mean give them a little love and forgiveness, and let go of constricting thoughts. This helps our own healing as well as adding to the creation of the world we all want, one of support and love for each other.

For help with releasing old pain, see my webinar:  Letting It All Go! Releasing Pain and Karma from Your Past.

So You Want to Be with Your Twin Flame?

Many people have romanticized the notion of being with pink water lilliestheir twin flame—the perfect mate, the other half. I believe this comes from a deep soul yearning to find someone who will share the spiritual journey and connect at deeper levels than the usual physical and emotional areas in relationships. This desire also comes from fairy tales in our culture that tell of finding the perfect mate and then living happily ever after.

The twin flame IS the ideal mate! This is true. But what many people do not understand is that the twin is the ideal mate for the SOUL, not for the personality, ego, or other human aspects. The twin will only be compatible, or appropriate as a mate in physical life, when the soul has been fully engaged in life.

The spiritual path is all about healing and purifying the three lower bodies—physical, emotional and mental—so more Light can be brought in, and the spirit can be freed. The soul gradually becomes more engaged as the personality relinquishes control and most of the pain from our past is healed. This generally takes hundreds of lifetimes of active self-healing. Only when the purification is almost finished will the soul be active in all areas of life.

Until then, it is best that the twin keep his or her distance because as long as the ego is in control, there will be incompatibility no matter how much we want this union! Fortunately, this is taken care of by Divine Will.

While we humans are evolving, the RIGHT MATE is the one who will help us evolve the most, showing us where we need to heal next. Sometimes this help comes in the form of triggering our pain, or seemingly holding us back for a while. Soulmates and other companions are very good at helping us by pushing us along. In each relationship, the highest goal is to learn all that can be learned.

Many people still think that if they only can find the right person, this person will love them as they are, and everything will be ideal, like in the movies. But every unresolved issue you have in one relationship will still be there in the next one, no matter who the person is. This is why it is so important to heal yourself and make sure you learn all lessons within each relationship you have.

If you do meet your twin flame when you still have much to heal, it is not likely that you will stay together for long because of the intensity of this soul connection and its need for purity. It can stimulate both of your growth, and this is probably why Divine Will occasionally causes this. If you can accept that it is a brief encounter by design, there can be big benefits to your spiritual growth. If you can’t accept this, it can cause much suffering.

It is good to remember that once we have a connection with someone at the soul level, whether the twin or a soulmate, that connection does not go away. You will never lose it, whether you are together physically or not. From the perspective of the soul, there is no hurry. When the time is right you will be together, if not in this lifetime then in the next, or between lives. It is the personality that feels need or urgency, not the soul.

If we take full advantage of all relationships that come our way, treating them like arenas in which to heal and purify our lower bodies, we will progress fast. Each one takes us closer to the most ideal mate, the twin flame, when our journey of incarnations on Earth is almost finished and the soul is ready.

Twin Flame or Soulmate?

Over the years, I have received thousands of letters from people wanting to know if a particular person is their twin flame. They usually describe the intensity of the attraction, the stirring of spiritual awakenings, and sometimes an opening of psychic senses. All these experiences prompt them to do some kind of research online, leading to the concept of twin flames.

By far most of these are not twin flames. They are soulmates or other people with whom there is a strong soul contract. Sometimes they come along to spark a spiritual awakening, or to help you make some big changes in your life. These important encounters are gold! Because of the contracts, these connections generate very intense feelings and mystical experiences to get your attention, and it may seem like it is the forever kind of love.

But often, after they have given you the boost you needed, the person is no longer needed in your life. The soul contract is finished. If you have, in the process, attached to the idea that they are your twin and no one else will do, this can be extremely painful, as well as then limiting you from finding the next relationship that will help you along your path of evolution.

There are several ways I can tell if two people are twin flames. When I look at two people psychically, the first thing I look for is where their energetic connection is the strongest. If that is at the heart, they are usually soulmates or soul family who have come together to help each other heal. If it is between lower chakras, there is karma to disperse or big lessons to learn, and that is what drew them together. Mental or telepathic connections I see between the third eyes or throats, which can also be a sign of a shared mission or project. But if I see that the strongest connection is above the head at the soul level, this indicates either a soulmate or twin flame.

If this soul connection is present, I can tell if the couple are twins or not by looking at the unresolved energy or karma between them. If I see significant unfinished business, a number of lifetimes together, and other indications of a past together on Earth, this is a soulmate. If it looks clear between them, they are twin flames.

Soulmates and other soul family are our companions along the way as we incarnate over and over in different kinds of relationships, making mistakes and helping each other with life experiences and lessons.

Twins, on the other hand, don’t generally incarnate together while they are both creating karma. They tend to gather experience apart. But all the time they are very connected at the soul level, so even though they don’t have past lives together, they feel like they have known each other forever. And they have, just at a non-physical level.

Twins and some soulmates will feel like they were meant for each other, but the intensity of the soul-to-soul connection of twins is unsurpassed. This cannot be maintained in Earthly life until both people are very evolved and healed. This is why few twins actually come together physically.

So the quickest way to attract your twin flame is to heal yourself. When the timing is right, he or she will find you.