Cut Them Some Slack!

These are intense times, there is no doubt. As humanity moves into higher consciousness, everyone is being challenged to heal as much as possible. We can’t raise into a new level of spiritual evolution while carrying our emotional-mental baggage. Higher consciousness requires us to let go of pain and resistance. So everything that we have shoved under the rug because we didn’t want to deal with it will come up for healing sooner rather than later in these times.

sunflowersUnfortunately, most people do not have good tools to help them heal, so they may fall back into ways of acting that they have used before, which are comfortable but propagate pain rather than heal. Or they will not cope well with changes.

This brings up issues, and sometimes makes people overreact to situations because of their own pain. What helps is to know that no one tries to hurt another unless they are in pain. Period. I firmly believe that humans are naturally good hearted and kind—not, as some say, basically violent.

People all want the same things: love, support, comfort, and to make a positive difference. So why do many act in harmful ways, through their behavior or their words? Because they have pain. Because they have been hurt, emotionally and physically. Because they haven’t healed their past. And ultimately, because they need more love.

If we can remember that no one will hurt us unless they are in pain, it makes it easier to forgive them if they do. In these days of urgent healing, I think we need to cut everyone some slack. If someone hurts you, remind yourself that they are acting out of their own pain and it probably has nothing to do with you. They just need more love. This helps you stay more neutral, so you can refrain from reacting or taking it personally.

This doesn’t mean you let them hurt you again. Of course you protect yourself. But it does mean that you can let go of the small slights.

It takes a big person to look past hurtful words or deeds to recognize that even though someone is attacking, he or she is really only talking about their own hurt. They just don’t know how to express their need for love and understanding without blame and lashing out at another.

Very few people got enough love from their parents as a child. If they carry this into adulthood, it will cause behavior that is not ideal. I see this psychically as actual holes in the heart chakra. The good news is, these holes can be filled in with love in the present. In fact, we all have the ability to love ourselves and give ourselves the love we missed earlier.

So when someone acts harmfully, what they are really saying is they have been hurt and they need love.

We also tend to think others will act like we would in a given situation. Life would certainly be simpler if they did! But everyone has their own experiences, pain, and lessons to learn. Projecting onto others our ideas of the best way to act does not take into account our differences. If we expect people’s behavior to be a certain way, and we get hurt because it isn’t, then it is our own expectations that are hurting us. Expectations, once identified, can be deliberately changed.

Holding onto grudges only holds us back. It takes energy. By cutting people some slack, I literally mean give them a little love and forgiveness, and let go of constricting thoughts. This helps our own healing as well as adding to the creation of the world we all want, one of support and love for each other.

For help with releasing old pain, see my webinar:  Letting It All Go! Releasing Pain and Karma from Your Past.

Boundaries: Whose Body Is This?

A common problem I see with people who come to me for psychic healing is with their boundaries—specifically, the lack of them. I don’t just mean not being able to say no when interacting with others, although that is a symptom of this issue. I mean their energy field literally does not have what I call the auric boundary—a membrane that defines the edge of a personal energy field.

white-flowersA healthy human aura naturally has a well-defined edge. This is how our energy is enclosed, and separated from the energy of others. It allows us to tell the difference between our energy and that of others. If this is damaged or leaky, people share energy and pain of others, usually without knowing it. This can make life very difficult.

Yes, you might say that we are all connected anyway, so what is the big deal? Why not everyone share each other’s energy, since we are all one? It is true that we are all connected, but those connections are best kept at the higher levels of the soul. People have so much baggage at the lower levels that if you share their energy, you also share their problems and pain. This does not help anyone! In fact, it increases suffering.

Each of us is only responsible for healing our own issues. This is not possible if we are sharing everyone else’s. So it is best for all of us, until we become a culture of ascended beings, to keep our energy separated at the human level. Strong auric boundaries are essential for this.

What causes the boundary to be compromised? I have found that it usually stems from trauma, especially emotional, physical or sexual abuse . . . and especially when this happens as a child. When the personal boundaries of a child are transgressed, it leaves scars that often manifest as a weak or damaged boundary. And this becomes their normal way of being, until they deliberately heal the breach.

I see the boundary of the aura as a thin membrane. It moves with the aura in a flexible way, defining it as the aura changes size from moment to moment, depending on how we feel. When we feel sick or tired, the aura shrinks and so does the boundary. When we are feeling good, it expands.

If holes or other damage are present, or if the lower half is missing (which is common), it can be energetically healed. You can do this using your imagination. Imagine that you are filling it in, using energy. Visualize it or feel it becoming a whole oval encasing your energy again. This is its natural state, so you are only helping it go back to normal.

At first, you may correct it only to perceive it go right back to the way it was in a few minutes. But if you continue, it will hold longer and longer. After you do this daily for a few weeks, you will notice that it takes less effort to fill it in. When it holds most of the time, you will notice how much better this feels.

Re-establishing your boundary will help you in your daily life by giving you more ability to differentiate your thoughts and feelings from all the mental-emotional energy around you. You will reconnect with your true nature, your sense of self. Who you are, at a deep level, becomes stronger as you separate your energy from others. Knowing yourself is essential to personal growth.

It also helps you claim your body and space as your own. When your energy is contained, you will be more present and not allow others to project into or share your body. This is so important for health and happiness!

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Everything Always Turns Out for the Best

When I was a child, I noticed that whenever I was in a crisis of some kind, I tended to get so caught up in the emotions that it seemed like the world would never be the same again. Enmeshed in emotional drama, it became everything. I lost sight of the big picture. This is probably how most children react, before they learn not to let emotions take them over so fully.

I was about eightsilouette years old when I noticed that after a crisis passed, it didn’t seem nearly as bad, and the world really did go on. Looking back at a drama made it seem much less intense, and I wondered how my perception could have changed so much. How could I have thought it was the end of the world while I was in it?

After noticing this pattern a number of times, I had a revelation. If I could just find a way to remember that everything would be fine and not seem so bad after it was over, I could get through a crisis easier. That was when I made up a saying: “Everything always turns out for the best in the end.” I repeated this over and over in my mind the next time something happened that was painful. It worked! I no longer got so caught up in the drama. It gave me the strength to make it through, like a lifeline to the future—to a time after the worst had passed.

And lo and behold, after the crisis was over, everything really did turn out okay! The truth of that statement was reinforced over and over. I used it like a mantra throughout my youth. The little dramas of childhood gave me plenty of fodder for practice, and I gained a slight dis-attachment that helped me stay centered, though at the time I did not know that was what it was called.

Perhaps realizing this at a young age is why I have had such unshakable faith as an adult. I know deep down that the Divine Plan is working all the time—not only when things are going well, but even when crummy things happen. It is, in fact, the bad times that help us build faith, not the easy times.

This kind of faith is not something that can be taught. It really does come from experience. It comes from living through painful times and coming out of them stronger and having learned something. It comes from seeing the good that comes out of every experience, even the worst ones. There are always gifts—the silver linings. If we go through enough of these we do start to realize that even though we can’t understand in the moment why some things happen, there are always good reasons for them.

Few people seem to have this kind of faith. Even people who have been on a spiritual path for many years can occasionally have doubts, which then causes them to believe in accidental or random happenings that have no cause. But everything has a cause! To think otherwise is to increase suffering.

The entire Divine Plan is not ours to know, with our limited human minds. We only get glimpses of it. So this is where faith comes in. And with faith comes true surrender and acceptance of what we can’t change, and knowing inside that no matter how bad things are, if we wait long enough we may be able to understand the value of the experience. This gives us a level of peace that transcends human dramas.

Though I no longer need to repeat my childhood saying, it is deeply engrained in me as a Truth and I am grateful for the perspective it gave me. Plus, having faith makes life so much more enjoyable!

Friends in High Places

I have been blessed with the ability to communicate with Beings of Light since I was a small child. They have been my teachers in this lifetime, and essential to my spiritual path, helping me continue to move forward in their loving and compassionate way.

Connecting with your personal guides and occasionally other Beings of Light is one of the absolute best ways to speed your spiritual evolution. They have a higher perspective that comes from places beyond what humans can imagine.

Most humans have personal guides—beings who help them from the non-physical realms—and with whom they have soul contracts. Agreements are made before birth and sometimes reassignments are made during life as people grow and evolve. These beings are our good friends, and they offer support and guidance, whether we are aware of them or not. They do not interfere with our lessons, but they help us through them as quickly and easily as possible.

Besides personal guides, there are other beings with whom I speak. These beings do not act as personal guides, because they are working very hard on the behalf of all humanity, but they can be contacted in special situations. I have great respect for these Beings of Light and do not bother them with trivial matters.

The Ascended Masters are a group of beings who took many incarnations and graduated from Earth, ascending to the next level. Many of them now help humanity evolve by influencing events and people energetically. They work hard to help us all, as their missions are vast. They do, however, understand from personal experience the challenges of being human.

The angels are another type of being, most of whom never incarnated. They also work with energy, and provide support and love and joy when called. They do not have much knowledge of human life, but they are very good supporters. The archangels oversee large groups of angels and are accessible when called for special needs, or at least they will send some of the angels under their management.

I also sometimes talk with nature spirits, the beings who care for the forms in our world. Of these, there are elementals, the ones who create and maintain aspects of our physical world, and devas, who are more like architects and create the design. Through our Land Healing Project, I have been contacted by many devas, such as mountain spirits, who have a unique perspective on time and humanity and offer great wisdom.

Because the veils have been thinning in the last few decades, it has become easier to connect with beings on the other side. When I teach people to open their communication channel with their guides, I do stress the importance of discrimination. Not all beings who want to communicate are guides, and people new to the process, if not careful, can draw in beings who do not have the highest goals of spiritual evolution in mind. So it is good to be aware of who you are letting in. Some beings are very clever and will even try to fool you into thinking they are someone they aren’t.

You will know your personal guides because they feel familiar, good, and loving. They will only advise you, never telling you what to do or trying to control you, because their sole reason for being with you is to help you achieve the mission you chose before birth, including the lessons you need to learn. Your guides will never try to flatter you or coax you with promises of power, and they will always encourage oneness rather than separation.

I cannot imagine life without my dear friends in high places!


Be a Grounding Rod!


No matter why clients come to me for energy healing, the biggest problem I usually see is that they are not well grounded. I often spend a good part of a session just getting their energy grounded, because this is the one thing that will aid their healing the most.

If someone is not grounded, they are not fully in their body. They are also not in present time. No one can function well and be healthy and happy without being present. Our optimal state is to be in our bodies, so what throws people out? It is traumatic events, either emotional or physical, that cause this. Who wants to be in pain? It is human nature to move away from it. So when there is pain and trauma, we pop out of the body with a big chunk of our consciousness, and then sometimes never get back in fully. This can be caused by accidents, losses, emotional or physical abuse, shocking news, or serious illnesses.

Some people are thrown out at a young age and live that way the rest of their lives. By the time they come to me, this has become their normal way of being, and they wonder why they are stressed and not coping well with day-to-day challenges.Earth2

Another harmful result of not being fully present is that there is room for other beings to take residence in or around your body. These opportunistic entities will only make things worse. They magnify negative thoughts and harmful emotions, creating more problems in your life. Coming back into possession of your body and claiming your energy will give them the eviction notice and is the ticket back to health and wholeness.

Many people can reach high states of consciousness in meditation, but because they are not grounded, this activity does not progress their spiritual evolution. Those high frequency energies need to be brought into the physical world and into all areas of our lives to be integrated and help us evolve. We are bridges between spirit and matter! Our job as human beings is to bring spiritual energies into the physical world, and that means into our bodies, and all areas of our lives.

The way to start is with the grounding cord. This is seen psychically as a cord of energy that is attached to the body right where we sit, and it ideally extends downward into the Earth. It is common for it to be non-existent, shallow, disconnected, or even straying off to the side. When I correct this energetically, I put it all the way down into the middle of the Earth, anchoring it well.

You can ground yourself with intent without being able to see the cord. Just intend that the cord is well attached at the top and push it down as deep as you can imagine. If you haven’t been grounded for a long time, you may need to visualize or intend this several times a day at first. But if you do just that, after a while it will stay for longer and longer.

This is our lifeline. This connection gives us stability, nourishment, and security. Everyone needs this!

Once you have your Earth connection working, allow the energy from deep in the core to come up into your system. Let it bathe and heal resistance or pain you have stored from your past as it slowly flows upward through your body, until it goes out the top of your head. If you are familiar with chakras, pause the energy at each one, seeing each chakra grow brighter and more beautiful. Pay special attention to the root chakra, at the base of the spine, where the energy first comes in.

Once your cord is healed, and more energy can flow upward, the body looks more inviting to the soul. You will have more of your essence in the here and now.

Our beautiful Earth has energy that is perfect for human beings in all ways, from the body to the soul. And it is given freely, so take advantage of it!


So You Want to Be with Your Twin Flame?

Many people have romanticized the notion of being with pink water lilliestheir twin flame—the perfect mate, the other half. I believe this comes from a deep soul yearning to find someone who will share the spiritual journey and connect at deeper levels than the usual physical and emotional areas in relationships. This desire also comes from fairy tales in our culture that tell of finding the perfect mate and then living happily ever after.

The twin flame IS the ideal mate! This is true. But what many people do not understand is that the twin is the ideal mate for the SOUL, not for the personality, ego, or other human aspects. The twin will only be compatible, or appropriate as a mate in physical life, when the soul has been fully engaged in life.

The spiritual path is all about healing and purifying the three lower bodies—physical, emotional and mental—so more Light can be brought in, and the spirit can be freed. The soul gradually becomes more engaged as the personality relinquishes control and most of the pain from our past is healed. This generally takes hundreds of lifetimes of active self-healing. Only when the purification is almost finished will the soul be active in all areas of life.

Until then, it is best that the twin keep his or her distance because as long as the ego is in control, there will be incompatibility no matter how much we want this union! Fortunately, this is taken care of by Divine Will.

While we humans are evolving, the RIGHT MATE is the one who will help us evolve the most, showing us where we need to heal next. Sometimes this help comes in the form of triggering our pain, or seemingly holding us back for a while. Soulmates and other companions are very good at helping us by pushing us along. In each relationship, the highest goal is to learn all that can be learned.

Many people still think that if they only can find the right person, this person will love them as they are, and everything will be ideal, like in the movies. But every unresolved issue you have in one relationship will still be there in the next one, no matter who the person is. This is why it is so important to heal yourself and make sure you learn all lessons within each relationship you have.

If you do meet your twin flame when you still have much to heal, it is not likely that you will stay together for long because of the intensity of this soul connection and its need for purity. It can stimulate both of your growth, and this is probably why Divine Will occasionally causes this. If you can accept that it is a brief encounter by design, there can be big benefits to your spiritual growth. If you can’t accept this, it can cause much suffering.

It is good to remember that once we have a connection with someone at the soul level, whether the twin or a soulmate, that connection does not go away. You will never lose it, whether you are together physically or not. From the perspective of the soul, there is no hurry. When the time is right you will be together, if not in this lifetime then in the next, or between lives. It is the personality that feels need or urgency, not the soul.

If we take full advantage of all relationships that come our way, treating them like arenas in which to heal and purify our lower bodies, we will progress fast. Each one takes us closer to the most ideal mate, the twin flame, when our journey of incarnations on Earth is almost finished and the soul is ready.

We Are Supposed to Make Mistakes!

In this school of life, we human beings are constantly striving toward perfecting ourselves. That is the spiritual path, one of healing and purification. As we gather more and more experience, through many incarnations, we tend to learn right from wrong. Unfortunately, many of these lessons are learned the hard way, by doing the wrong thing and then dealing with the consequences. Or, as my dad used to say, “You have to pay the Piper.”

So speaking of consequences, what is karma, really? Some people think of it as punishment, like a higher-level justice system imposed on humans to make them pay for their transgressions and harmful acts. But I believe that it is something we agree to at the soul level, rather than something imposed on us.

Yes, there is a Karmic Board, a group of Beings of Light who are well-known among those of us who can communicate with them. But even though their job is to assign karmic backlash, I sense these beings as compassionate and loving—not punishing. They work with your soul to find the best course of action so you will learn lessons you really DO want to learn. Of course, you may not remember that you wanted to learn these lessons when faced with challenges and limitations in life, but this is where faith comes in.

What religions call sins, I call mistakes. Without making mistakes we would never learn what this Earth school has to teach. There is nothing as effective as screwing up big-time then feeling bad about it, to teach us what not to do. When we feel bad, we punish ourselves. In fact, we tend to give ourselves much worse consequences than the Karmic Board would!

I first realized this with an incident when my two sons were young. When we were living in some suburbs of San Diego, my six-year-old son forgot to put his bike in the garage, leaving it out in the yard overnight. Fortunately, it was still there in the morning. Rather than imposing a punishment for this, I asked him what he thought was a fair action to prevent it from happening again. He was silent for a few seconds as he considered it, then he said he should not be allowed to ride his bike for a month. This was far more severe than anything I would have imposed! I thanked him but gave a lighter sentence. He never left it out again.

With hundreds of clients I have seen the same pattern, on a longer time scale. They are so hard on themselves! One mistake and they think they are terrible people, sometimes punishing themselves for many lifetimes! This can cause deep feelings of unworthiness and low self-esteem which may stem from hundreds of years ago. Sometimes the chosen punishment is far greater than needed, and can be the very thing that is holding them back.

We can all benefit from recognizing that we are supposed to make mistakes while living as human beings in this Earth school. As long as we have learned the lessons so we won’t repeat the mistakes, we can forgive ourselves and move forward much more quickly. Time to stop beating themselves up!

More Light Means More Chaos!

As people open to spiritual energies by meditating daily and raising their vibrations, often they find that their life gets harder, not easier. At times it will seem like the more Light they bring in, the more chaos they have in their lives!

If they weren’t warned ahead of adobe-galaxytime, this is a time when many who are new to the spiritual path will get discouraged and stop their spiritual work, going back to the limited perceptions and activities that are more comfortable—at least for a while. This usually won’t last long. Once you have awakened to the greater reality, it is difficult to retreat into closed perceptions.

The reason things seem to get worse at first is that as we bring finer energies into our systems, they will expose whatever has been blocking the Light. This means all those areas of pain that we have avoided, or didn’t even know about, will at some point be brought up for healing.

The good news is, our souls are in charge and won’t ever give us more than we can handle. The bad news is, from the perspective of the soul we may be able to handle more than what we think we can from the human perspective. From the higher view, it is easy to see where we need to go, and how to get there. And to expand our consciousness requires that we get out of our comfort zone.

The growth process is a lot like cleaning out a messy closet. First you have to take everything out. So there is more disorganization than there was before you started. If you stop there, you will have a greater mess, and if you aren’t aware of this ahead of time, you may decide that you will never try to clean out that closet again!

But if you stick with it, making piles of things that you will get rid of because they no longer fit in with your life, and organizing what you are keeping into containers that you can stack, label, and put on shelves, in time you will have a much nicer closet, and you be able to find everything.

This pattern of chaos before order is the way things work in our world, whether it is cleaning a mess or raising our consciousness. We have to stick it out to get to the time when it gets easier.

With spiritual growth, it comes in layers. The first big chunk of pain may be exposed very quickly after starting your path, and if you have tools with which to heal it, you will get through that and arrive at a place that is more comfortable. But then there is the next chunk, and the next one. This is the healing process, which has been likened to peeling the layers of an onion.

And sometimes you will think you have completely healed a pattern, only to have it seemingly come back years later. This is only another layer to be exposed and healed. If you keep bringing in Light, it will eventually shine into the deepest, darkest corners of your system. If you have been incarnating on this planet for very long, you can expect this process of clearing out the past to take many lifetimes. If you think of the process in these terms, and stick to it, finding the fastest paths and teachers, and gathering the best tools, you will be in it for the long haul. And little bits of chaos will not deter you.

Twin Flame or Soulmate?

Over the years, I have received thousands of letters from people wanting to know if a particular person is their twin flame. They usually describe the intensity of the attraction, the stirring of spiritual awakenings, and sometimes an opening of psychic senses. All these experiences prompt them to do some kind of research online, leading to the concept of twin flames.

By far most of these are not twin flames. They are soulmates or other people with whom there is a strong soul contract. Sometimes they come along to spark a spiritual awakening, or to help you make some big changes in your life. These important encounters are gold! Because of the contracts, these connections generate very intense feelings and mystical experiences to get your attention, and it may seem like it is the forever kind of love.

But often, after they have given you the boost you needed, the person is no longer needed in your life. The soul contract is finished. If you have, in the process, attached to the idea that they are your twin and no one else will do, this can be extremely painful, as well as then limiting you from finding the next relationship that will help you along your path of evolution.

There are several ways I can tell if two people are twin flames. When I look at two people psychically, the first thing I look for is where their energetic connection is the strongest. If that is at the heart, they are usually soulmates or soul family who have come together to help each other heal. If it is between lower chakras, there is karma to disperse or big lessons to learn, and that is what drew them together. Mental or telepathic connections I see between the third eyes or throats, which can also be a sign of a shared mission or project. But if I see that the strongest connection is above the head at the soul level, this indicates either a soulmate or twin flame.

If this soul connection is present, I can tell if the couple are twins or not by looking at the unresolved energy or karma between them. If I see significant unfinished business, a number of lifetimes together, and other indications of a past together on Earth, this is a soulmate. If it looks clear between them, they are twin flames.

Soulmates and other soul family are our companions along the way as we incarnate over and over in different kinds of relationships, making mistakes and helping each other with life experiences and lessons.

Twins, on the other hand, don’t generally incarnate together while they are both creating karma. They tend to gather experience apart. But all the time they are very connected at the soul level, so even though they don’t have past lives together, they feel like they have known each other forever. And they have, just at a non-physical level.

Twins and some soulmates will feel like they were meant for each other, but the intensity of the soul-to-soul connection of twins is unsurpassed. This cannot be maintained in Earthly life until both people are very evolved and healed. This is why few twins actually come together physically.

So the quickest way to attract your twin flame is to heal yourself. When the timing is right, he or she will find you.