Cut Them Some Slack!

These are intense times, there is no doubt. As humanity moves into higher consciousness, everyone is being challenged to heal as much as possible. We can’t raise into a new level of spiritual evolution while carrying our emotional-mental baggage. Higher consciousness requires us to let go of pain and resistance. So everything that we have shoved under the rug because we didn’t want to deal with it will come up for healing sooner rather than later in these times.

sunflowersUnfortunately, most people do not have good tools to help them heal, so they may fall back into ways of acting that they have used before, which are comfortable but propagate pain rather than heal. Or they will not cope well with changes.

This brings up issues, and sometimes makes people overreact to situations because of their own pain. What helps is to know that no one tries to hurt another unless they are in pain. Period. I firmly believe that humans are naturally good hearted and kind—not, as some say, basically violent.

People all want the same things: love, support, comfort, and to make a positive difference. So why do many act in harmful ways, through their behavior or their words? Because they have pain. Because they have been hurt, emotionally and physically. Because they haven’t healed their past. And ultimately, because they need more love.

If we can remember that no one will hurt us unless they are in pain, it makes it easier to forgive them if they do. In these days of urgent healing, I think we need to cut everyone some slack. If someone hurts you, remind yourself that they are acting out of their own pain and it probably has nothing to do with you. They just need more love. This helps you stay more neutral, so you can refrain from reacting or taking it personally.

This doesn’t mean you let them hurt you again. Of course you protect yourself. But it does mean that you can let go of the small slights.

It takes a big person to look past hurtful words or deeds to recognize that even though someone is attacking, he or she is really only talking about their own hurt. They just don’t know how to express their need for love and understanding without blame and lashing out at another.

Very few people got enough love from their parents as a child. If they carry this into adulthood, it will cause behavior that is not ideal. I see this psychically as actual holes in the heart chakra. The good news is, these holes can be filled in with love in the present. In fact, we all have the ability to love ourselves and give ourselves the love we missed earlier.

So when someone acts harmfully, what they are really saying is they have been hurt and they need love.

We also tend to think others will act like we would in a given situation. Life would certainly be simpler if they did! But everyone has their own experiences, pain, and lessons to learn. Projecting onto others our ideas of the best way to act does not take into account our differences. If we expect people’s behavior to be a certain way, and we get hurt because it isn’t, then it is our own expectations that are hurting us. Expectations, once identified, can be deliberately changed.

Holding onto grudges only holds us back. It takes energy. By cutting people some slack, I literally mean give them a little love and forgiveness, and let go of constricting thoughts. This helps our own healing as well as adding to the creation of the world we all want, one of support and love for each other.

For help with releasing old pain, see my webinar:  Letting It All Go! Releasing Pain and Karma from Your Past.

Boundaries: Whose Body Is This?

A common problem I see with people who come to me for psychic healing is with their boundaries—specifically, the lack of them. I don’t just mean not being able to say no when interacting with others, although that is a symptom of this issue. I mean their energy field literally does not have what I call the auric boundary—a membrane that defines the edge of a personal energy field.

white-flowersA healthy human aura naturally has a well-defined edge. This is how our energy is enclosed, and separated from the energy of others. It allows us to tell the difference between our energy and that of others. If this is damaged or leaky, people share energy and pain of others, usually without knowing it. This can make life very difficult.

Yes, you might say that we are all connected anyway, so what is the big deal? Why not everyone share each other’s energy, since we are all one? It is true that we are all connected, but those connections are best kept at the higher levels of the soul. People have so much baggage at the lower levels that if you share their energy, you also share their problems and pain. This does not help anyone! In fact, it increases suffering.

Each of us is only responsible for healing our own issues. This is not possible if we are sharing everyone else’s. So it is best for all of us, until we become a culture of ascended beings, to keep our energy separated at the human level. Strong auric boundaries are essential for this.

What causes the boundary to be compromised? I have found that it usually stems from trauma, especially emotional, physical or sexual abuse . . . and especially when this happens as a child. When the personal boundaries of a child are transgressed, it leaves scars that often manifest as a weak or damaged boundary. And this becomes their normal way of being, until they deliberately heal the breach.

I see the boundary of the aura as a thin membrane. It moves with the aura in a flexible way, defining it as the aura changes size from moment to moment, depending on how we feel. When we feel sick or tired, the aura shrinks and so does the boundary. When we are feeling good, it expands.

If holes or other damage are present, or if the lower half is missing (which is common), it can be energetically healed. You can do this using your imagination. Imagine that you are filling it in, using energy. Visualize it or feel it becoming a whole oval encasing your energy again. This is its natural state, so you are only helping it go back to normal.

At first, you may correct it only to perceive it go right back to the way it was in a few minutes. But if you continue, it will hold longer and longer. After you do this daily for a few weeks, you will notice that it takes less effort to fill it in. When it holds most of the time, you will notice how much better this feels.

Re-establishing your boundary will help you in your daily life by giving you more ability to differentiate your thoughts and feelings from all the mental-emotional energy around you. You will reconnect with your true nature, your sense of self. Who you are, at a deep level, becomes stronger as you separate your energy from others. Knowing yourself is essential to personal growth.

It also helps you claim your body and space as your own. When your energy is contained, you will be more present and not allow others to project into or share your body. This is so important for health and happiness!

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Everything Always Turns Out for the Best

When I was a child, I noticed that whenever I was in a crisis of some kind, I tended to get so caught up in the emotions that it seemed like the world would never be the same again. Enmeshed in emotional drama, it became everything. I lost sight of the big picture. This is probably how most children react, before they learn not to let emotions take them over so fully.

I was about eightsilouette years old when I noticed that after a crisis passed, it didn’t seem nearly as bad, and the world really did go on. Looking back at a drama made it seem much less intense, and I wondered how my perception could have changed so much. How could I have thought it was the end of the world while I was in it?

After noticing this pattern a number of times, I had a revelation. If I could just find a way to remember that everything would be fine and not seem so bad after it was over, I could get through a crisis easier. That was when I made up a saying: “Everything always turns out for the best in the end.” I repeated this over and over in my mind the next time something happened that was painful. It worked! I no longer got so caught up in the drama. It gave me the strength to make it through, like a lifeline to the future—to a time after the worst had passed.

And lo and behold, after the crisis was over, everything really did turn out okay! The truth of that statement was reinforced over and over. I used it like a mantra throughout my youth. The little dramas of childhood gave me plenty of fodder for practice, and I gained a slight dis-attachment that helped me stay centered, though at the time I did not know that was what it was called.

Perhaps realizing this at a young age is why I have had such unshakable faith as an adult. I know deep down that the Divine Plan is working all the time—not only when things are going well, but even when crummy things happen. It is, in fact, the bad times that help us build faith, not the easy times.

This kind of faith is not something that can be taught. It really does come from experience. It comes from living through painful times and coming out of them stronger and having learned something. It comes from seeing the good that comes out of every experience, even the worst ones. There are always gifts—the silver linings. If we go through enough of these we do start to realize that even though we can’t understand in the moment why some things happen, there are always good reasons for them.

Few people seem to have this kind of faith. Even people who have been on a spiritual path for many years can occasionally have doubts, which then causes them to believe in accidental or random happenings that have no cause. But everything has a cause! To think otherwise is to increase suffering.

The entire Divine Plan is not ours to know, with our limited human minds. We only get glimpses of it. So this is where faith comes in. And with faith comes true surrender and acceptance of what we can’t change, and knowing inside that no matter how bad things are, if we wait long enough we may be able to understand the value of the experience. This gives us a level of peace that transcends human dramas.

Though I no longer need to repeat my childhood saying, it is deeply engrained in me as a Truth and I am grateful for the perspective it gave me. Plus, having faith makes life so much more enjoyable!