Many people have romanticized the notion of being with their twin flame—the perfect mate, the other half. I believe this comes from a deep soul yearning to find someone who will share the spiritual journey and connect at deeper levels than the usual physical and emotional areas in relationships. This desire also comes from fairy tales in our culture that tell of finding the perfect mate and then living happily ever after.
The twin flame IS the ideal mate! This is true. But what many people do not understand is that the twin is the ideal mate for the SOUL, not for the personality, ego, or other human aspects. The twin will only be compatible, or appropriate as a mate in physical life, when the soul has been fully engaged in life.
The spiritual path is all about healing and purifying the three lower bodies—physical, emotional and mental—so more Light can be brought in, and the spirit can be freed. The soul gradually becomes more engaged as the personality relinquishes control and most of the pain from our past is healed. This generally takes hundreds of lifetimes of active self-healing. Only when the purification is almost finished will the soul be active in all areas of life.
Until then, it is best that the twin keep his or her distance because as long as the ego is in control, there will be incompatibility no matter how much we want this union! Fortunately, this is taken care of by Divine Will.
While we humans are evolving, the RIGHT MATE is the one who will help us evolve the most, showing us where we need to heal next. Sometimes this help comes in the form of triggering our pain, or seemingly holding us back for a while. Soulmates and other companions are very good at helping us by pushing us along. In each relationship, the highest goal is to learn all that can be learned.
Many people still think that if they only can find the right person, this person will love them as they are, and everything will be ideal, like in the movies. But every unresolved issue you have in one relationship will still be there in the next one, no matter who the person is. This is why it is so important to heal yourself and make sure you learn all lessons within each relationship you have.
If you do meet your twin flame when you still have much to heal, it is not likely that you will stay together for long because of the intensity of this soul connection and its need for purity. It can stimulate both of your growth, and this is probably why Divine Will occasionally causes this. If you can accept that it is a brief encounter by design, there can be big benefits to your spiritual growth. If you can’t accept this, it can cause much suffering.
It is good to remember that once we have a connection with someone at the soul level, whether the twin or a soulmate, that connection does not go away. You will never lose it, whether you are together physically or not. From the perspective of the soul, there is no hurry. When the time is right you will be together, if not in this lifetime then in the next, or between lives. It is the personality that feels need or urgency, not the soul.
If we take full advantage of all relationships that come our way, treating them like arenas in which to heal and purify our lower bodies, we will progress fast. Each one takes us closer to the most ideal mate, the twin flame, when our journey of incarnations on Earth is almost finished and the soul is ready.